Smoke and Mirrors

Words are an affair between air and sound. An affair we decorate with emotion and will. Still nothing more than air and sound. That which gives weigh to our words is action. Without action, our words dance in the dangerous line of the nothing.

At times people disconnect one from the other. They mix what they want with what they say and what they do, twisting reality. Words need to be attached to action in order to have any power whatsoever. And when you say words that mean left, to then turn right, your actions are speaking louder than your words.

Most people don't realize the truth behind this and play with words as if they were the decoration to their actions. Arguments need a cohesive action. If the action is contradictory to the related words, the former will loose meaning as quick as I lost all sense of hope in you, me, us...

Your actions show your true self and your true motivations. Your words just tell me how much are you willing to lie for those actions. An excuse is nothing more than meaningless words, and I'm tired of swimming on everyone's excuses.

This was meant to be a poem about said reality, but it became a poetic rant. Because my words were attached to my ranting action. Because my patience has become anger, and my tolerance, hatred. I wished to be light, and became the beacon for the traitors, liars, thieves and rats of the world, or at least my world. That beacon that made them feel safe enough to come over and backstab me.

And of all that trash out there, not in my wildest nightmares did I ever think you would become one of them. Another door-to-door salesman of smoke and mirrors. The worst part is that you have me enchanted. enchanted with your ways... it's hard to think those were just lies.

Hearing you lying to yourself has been the biggest red flag in my face since my mother "found Jesus". But I am to blame. I am to blame for sticking around. For "trying to help". It is not my job to "fix" what you think its broken in you. And to think that there was a team here... well... I'm that idiot.

This is a lesson I had learned in the past. A lesson I wished never to relive. But after almost 4 decades, of walking this world, I have yet to learn not to be infatuated by someone's smile or even their heart. Because even if they are golden and heavenly inside, it is the outside what really determines who they are. Because you say what is inside, but you do as you are on the outside.

The decisions needed to fix my issues are the hurtful kind. But since my pain means nothing to you, well,
fuck yours very much.

Lastly, to them the corrupted who already rejoice thinking they got away with it... I wish your families catches leprosy and all die horribly in your faces, as you loose all sense of sanity and get backstabbed 100 fold by anyone and everyone you reach out to for help.

This hatred, innate. It is me. The me I had to hide because of all of you. Blessed be the hatred in me.