Days never ending.

and i had something on my shoe... it was a bug, a tiny baby scorpion. it bit me and left me in pain, sitting next to my tent on a rock as i pulled the sting out of my foot. i had to walk miles and miles to get to a town, but now i was being slowed down by karma, apparently. being alone in the mountains sometimes is not the best of trips, yet it is really a good way to relax and let go of everything else.

the day was particularly humid. the fog was thick and i was high on that mountain. high on that grass that helped me realize that when the end was near, there was no need to rush it. i wondered how your day was, but the pain on my foot distracted me to the point of no return. i had already started to walk down hill. after 4 days in, i didn't think it would really bother me as much, but to think that i may not make it was really refreshing. the relief, the lack of angst, the smile on my face... i never thought it would bother me as much. i must have been going crazy. then i tripped on a maple root and the bungee that held my tent broke, releasing it into the fall. within seconds i could not see it, but i heard it falling further and deeper into the malice. i had no refuge now and the clouds were thickening. it was sickening.


a few clicks further down that one hill, at the river that divided this and my next challenge, i sat and took off my boot with great pain. my foot was huge and purple. i still had several days of walking, and little by little that distance felt unreachable. dipping it in the cold waters of the small river, i felt it numbing a little, relaxing the pain. my trench was deeper and deeper. my eyes grew tired. my legs couldn't hold more of my weight... leaving the backpack behind was a serious move but probably the only one that could save me...


i took the essentials and placed them in a small waist bag i had; my ID, some cash, the pipe, the weed and 3 apples. the first one i ate right there. it was my first meal of the day. the sun was hiding behind the clouds and the sound of thunder came closer and closer. i walked.


suddenly i felt faint and sat next to a tree, trying to hold my strength, but my breath was cheating me. "cheating..." i said... then your face... i laughed, gathered some strength, got up and kept walking.


the night fell on me like a piano falling from a skyscraper. i was frustrated, tired, in pain and having second thoughts on leaving that forest. i knew that at my return i was going to rejoice at the look of your smile. ha... rejoice... yes... i had to face you, my job, my office, my boss, my life... all that i was running away from... "why would i go back to that?" i thought... the pain in my foot had disappeared, but it looked even worst. now half my leg was purple and my foot was so numb and cold that it was as good as dead. i had reached the next level in pain... the pink elephants and blue unicorns... the moon was bright, the clouds had dispersed without dropping on me. that was rewarding somehow, but it was still cold, or so i believed... for my body was on fire. the fever had increased and i could feel it burning my hair. probably thanks to that i was able to survive the night... the morning woke me up with the bright sun in my face. i couldn't remember falling asleep, but i could remember the 10thousand nightmares that haunted me all night long... images and situations from past times and a future to never come.


i couldn't walk really, so i made up my mind to just sit there. took the pipe in my left hand and filled it with some of the weed i had left. i had enough for a good while, but i didn't think i'd live to see it dry out. faith? i had faith that i'd go with a smile, but i was so tired that i couldn't even draw one in my face... hope? i hoped that the clouds forming in the sky would come with lightning and one would strike my engagement ring. i never believed in luck, but for the first time i felt lucky. lucky to have found you with him, lucky to have gotten fired and sending my boss to go fuck himself, lucky to die, becoming earth's new treat.


as the high engulfs me, numbing all sorts of misdemeanors and helping me forget all sorts of "mental pain", i could feel my limbs going numb. first my legs, then my waist, then my back, finally i could not even lift my arms to smoke from the pipe...


i smiled as i closed my eyes.

"goodnight..."

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