The path ahead

As I reach the cusp of this mountain called change, anxiety hits. I am however, not putting bad connotations on the concept of anxiety, for I understand that in balance everything can be great and anything can be helpful. So I wait anxiously for the moment of truth to come and show me what I’m really up against. I fear. But fear is just a way to keep us awake in the wake of new horizons. Again, no bad connotations, only the truth behind the concept. I let my ego guide me, for without it I would not know my worth, because ego is knowing when and how to love yourself. No bad connotations, only truths to concepts.

If I were to fall, it would be ok. It would not be the first nor the last time my face meets the floor, which can only mean that I’ve stood up everytime. I don’t pity the empty husks, but I sure don’t envy them either. And that makes me happy because it made me who I am. And who I am is different to what I am, just like where I am is far beyond when I am. And these concepts can only heal if you let them. But if you abuse them, they will destroy you. I should know, because only through experience can one find balance. And I am still searching. 

My pain was once unhinged and pointless. Today, it is the fire, the motivator, the reason for change, only because I lived it, loved it, lubed it and lumped it. Acceptance is a flex I guess but, have you heard of “Recognition”? And that’s not about awards, but about vision. Because even the blind can see that wisdom comes when mistakes are made, recognized and used to fuel change. You can complain all you want, but if your feet have roots, better days will never come. You can complain all you want, but if you let your fears become phobias, change will never come.

It is hard to be strong, it gets harder when you let the concepts overlap and overflow your cup, regardless of size. Collect the concepts, but don’t let them put you on display. Understanding helps balance so, know what you’re dealing with so you can better deal with it. I should know, for I have been dealt a bad hand that I turned into a winning game. Fuck the house, just learn to play the game and learn to appreciate the people in your corner.

These are things I tell myself to remember the path behind and to face the path ahead.