Empty Home

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I’m back.

Back in these halls and rooms. Back within these walls that were meant to keep us safe, warm, loved.


I had a dream that you waited for me. That you realized the truth and took it upon yourself to show it. I had a dream but woke up to a nightmare. But that’s ok. I’m friend’s with my demons and they care for me too.


The garden is growing flowers you would have loved. Winter is gone and the green of spring surrounds and shows me the beauty of a new day. Soon i will plow the ground to plant hope and someday harvest the joy that was meant for us.


I clean the floors thinking of the steps we took together, remembering the smiles we shared. The memory can’t be avoided, just as much as the thought of what could have been. But the truth remains unquestionable, and it is on me to continue, barefoot, longing for the moment to heal, which is now.


Yes, I miss you, I won’t deny it. And though I claim to be proud for standing up for myself, the idea that maybe I was wrong continues to hunt me. Thinking change is possible is not crazy, but waiting for change to happen when there’s no accountability, that’s crazy. And though we could have been a power house team together, we weren’t. And though we could have been a dream come true, i woke up to a slap on my face from the hands of reality, forcing me to see the facts… forcing me to choose wisely… to walk away.


In my heart the honesty brings hope for your future and its brightness. My future is vague, fleeting even… but still within fog and shadows, the true flex is getting up everyday and going for it. Alone, building an empire… this isn’t easy and it isn’t “somebody’s” job, but mine. And in this empty home… I will always show up for me, even when nobody else does.

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