Another Friend

By -

so, you want to be my friend...
yeah, i have many of those
in different parts of the world
in many shapes, colors and sizes
so take a sit if you wish
i love my friends and they love me
sometimes they're there for me
most times they are not
and i am left to do things on my own
to walk on my own
to struggle on my own
to fight on my own
to live on my own
to cry on my own
to die on my own
but you want to be my friend
you know what i want?
do you care?
not my problem if you do
i want someone to be there
i want someone to walk with me
to talk to me about their day
to ask me about mine
to judge me with my best interest in mind
not just to judge and walk away
i want someone to hold my hand
i want someone to hold ME
to hold me while i sleep and whisper...
"it'll be ok"
and believe it
because every night i hold myself
every night i tell myself...
"it'll be ok"
but i don't believe it
and i wake up the next day
and do it all over again
the walking alone
the struggling alone
the fighting alone
the living alone
the crying alone
the dying alone
you know what i want?
do you even care?
i want a partner
a true companion to grow old with
someone to say "i love you" to
and mean it
because i will mean it
because how could i not?
they chose to be there
to care
and that's love
so no
i don't need another friend
i will take you in as another friend
because the world needs people to be friends
because this life needs people to be friends
not because i need another friend
but i could always use another
because most of them expire
they are there until they are not
until there is no longer a reason to smile
until things get hard and they just want easy
until i show them that my life isn't lazy
but you are not the one
you'll never be the one
just another one
another friend in a list of people who can say
"i know that weird man"
until it gets too weird and then
"him? no, we've never met"
and then be composted with the rest
so when you say
"i want to be your friend"
know that the clock is ticking
and in you forehead i will see the expiration date
because that expression will come
and that will be the day when it ends
so no
i don't need another friend
what i need is a partner
not to fill the void
but to help me out of it
to give me hope that when i die
they will be there
as will i if they leave first
for as a man that i am
i was built to be there
but the tools used to build me were lost
and the builder is dead
and the formula is gone
how do i know?
because i haven't met another me
and i know i'm not unique
but we are few and far between
and everyday we wake up, alone
and everyday we struggle
we fight
we live
we cry
and we die
alone
leaving less of us behind...
a partner
maybe a fantasy
maybe a dream
maybe a fallacy
yet that's what i want
and some have tried to play me
then they bitch when i choose me
over their manipulation and games
but i don't lose hope
even if i die on this hill
i still rather die alone
than with a liar in my home...
sorry, i got carried away
but no
i don't need another friend
you're still welcome to join the club
may your subscription last as much as it should
i will be here
not in the corner
but walking the path
looking for my true partner
so wish me luck
or don't
i don't give a fuck after all.

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